I am injured.
I am a runner who can’t run.
I am a yoga beginner who can’t practice.
I am a mom who can’t pick up her 45 pound kid.
Things could be worse – I know this. I’m still able to get out of bed in the morning. I can drive my kids to school. I can walk on the beach. I can cook dinner and do laundry and take care of my family.
I’ve been reading a lot about chronic illness & pain, and I’d definitely say that I have more “spoons” than others. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, see Christine Miserandino’s Spoon Theory – it’s a great read.) Still – I’ve always considered myself to be a healthy, active adult – and now I’m not. It’s not a fun transition.
Sometimes I forget that I’m injured, and I start feeling like regular Sharon for a while. Then something totally ridiculous will happen – I’ll sneeze, or one of the kids will bump into my elbow. And the resulting pain is so disproportionate that my brain almost can’t make sense of it.
And sometimes it feels like I’m living in someone else’s body. I mean, 6 months ago my legs could run 13.1 miles, and today they can’t even lift me up from the floor? It’s just…hard.
But I’m hopeful that this will just be a temporary situation. My back surgery is one month away, and from what I hear, the first two weeks of recovery will be tough. But after that, thing should start to look up. I’m hopeful that I’ll start getting some of my spoons back by mid-summer. Maybe I’ll even be able to start running again by the fall.
For now, I’m focusing on self-care, staying healthy, and getting things in order for what could be a looong summer vacation with the kids.
If you’re curious about the surgery I’m having, you can read more about it HERE. As always, thanks for your support and friendship. I’ll keep you posted – and I’d love to hear from anyone who has experience with back injuries and/or surgery. What worked for you? What was your recovery like? Have you been able to resume your normal activities?
Michele C. says
I cannot imagine how frustrating it must feel to be held back from all of the activity I know you love so much. I hope the surgery brings you healing and you can get back to doing youd favorite activities. And yes, while you still have so much to be grateful for, it is completely acceptable to be sad and frustrated!!!! You’ll be back, lady, I know you will!!!!!