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You’ve probably seen the t-shirt or the car magnet. “Running is my therapy.”
Dean Karnazes, the Ultramarathon Man, agrees: “Some seek the comfort of their therapist’s office, others head to the corner pub and dive into a pint, but I chose running as my therapy.”
I used to think this about running too. I’d see “running is my therapy” somewhere and think, “Yep, it’s mine too.”
But then the other day I was feeling down. I was sad, sluggish, unmotivated. I knew that going for a run would make me feel better, both mentally and physically. And yet at that moment, running was just about the last thing I wanted to do. What I wanted to do was crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and take a nap.
Which is exactly what I did.
It got me to thinking. If running is my therapy – if running is the thing that’s supposed to put my world back on its axis – then why didn’t I want to do it?
If Facebook and blog posts are to be believed, then I’m in the minority. It seems like most of the runners I know can’t wait to lace up their shoes and hit the pavement after a bad day. When they feel crappy, they want to run it off.
But me? When I feel sad or angry or overwhelmed, I want to sleep, eat sugary junk food, and/or binge watch Netflix. I don’t want to run. I have to make myself run.
Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with a headache? You know that medicine will make you feel better, but the Tylenol is all the way in the bathroom, and you’re so warm and half-asleep in bed, and the floor will be cold, and the bathroom is all the way on the opposite side of the room. But your head hurts, and you can’t fall back asleep, and even if you do fall back asleep, you know that your head will hurt worse in the morning. And so eventually you will yourself out of bed.
It’s the same thing with running. Just as I will myself out of my warm, comfy bed to get a Tylenol, I will myself out the front door to run off the funk. I don’t want to do it, and sometimes it takes me a long time and a lot of mental effort to convince myself. But in the end, I usually do it anyway because I know I’ll feel better once I do. And I know that – like with the headache – my predicament will only get worse the longer I avoid and delay.
I feel like it’s almost blasphemy to admit that I’m a runner who doesn’t always want (or like) to run. Does it somehow make me less of a runner? I’m not sure. But I do know this: running is not my therapy.
No, I think it’s more like taking a vitamin or eating broccoli. I may not always love it, but I do it because it’s good for my physical and mental health. I do it because it’s an essential part of a healthy lifestyle. And I do it because I like the results.
Does this mean that I don’t enjoy running? Of course not. I love running. But for me, running comes much more easily when I’m feeling good – physically, of course, but mentally as well. Running is something I like to do when I’m happy. I don’t have to drag myself out the front door when I’m meeting a good friend for a run date or when I’m going to the gym with my family. I look forward to my long runs and race days. It’s always easier to do the things we love when we’re happy, isn’t it?
image source: morguefile.com
Running is my passion. My hobby. My personal journey. My coping skill. On good days, I love it. On bad days, I tolerate it. Is it good for my mental health? Yes. Is it my “therapy?” Nope.
So what about you? Is running your therapy? Do you lace up your running shoes and fly out your front door on your bad days, or do you have to push yourself out? I’d really love to know.
Betsy says
Good post! I always say that running is my therapy and more often than not after a bad day nothing sounds better than a run. But some days watching TV and eating junk food does too! I guess it just depends. Although I know that after a run I will feel better than I would feel after TV and junk food.
sharon says
Exactly. It’s a matter of instant vs delayed gratification. Watching TV and eating crap is easy and feels good in the moment but ultimately doesn’t really improve anything. It’s so much harder to make myself run, and sometimes running sucks, but I know that it’ll make me feel better in the long run.
Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner says
I really like this post! I haven’t been able to run much the past few months bc of injury and I miss it so much. I esp miss the social aspect of it and I think that is my therapy more than the running itself. Taking a spin class with a friend doesn’t permit the same kind of chit chat and that is what is my therapy
sharon says
So true! I run about once a week with my best friend, and those runs are totally therapeutic because we talk the entire time. Of course, all the talking slows us down a LOT. It’s possible that therapeutic runs and training runs are mutually exclusive for me. But who knows.
Jenn says
Interesting.
That being said, good therapy is uncomfortable and hard work. You usually feel great when it’s over, but it’s something you don’t always love attending and sometimes, you feel worse when it’s over. So I can see it as therapy.
I don’t know if I love running. I love how I feel when I’m done. So I guess that’s something? It doesn’t make me any more or less of a runner though. What matters is logging those miles!
sharon says
Absolutely true. I thought about that while I was writing this post – it’s not like I’m jumping for joy on the way out the door to my therapist’s office either. You put it perfectly – “I don’t know if I love running. I love how I feel when I’m done.” That’s exactly how I feel. But if running was my therapy, wouldn’t I love the way it feels *during* a run? Would I have to force myself to run quite so often? I don’t know. At least it’s good to know that I’m not the only one. 🙂
Lynda@fitnessmomwinecountry says
Sharon, you are speaking right at me. Love this post, you hit it right on the head. Running is just a hobby for me, on good days I feel like a rock star bad a** runner, on bad days, I want snuggle in. Oh and binge watching the Bravo channel is my guilty pleasure 🙂
sharon says
Hi Lynda! Sorry for my late reply. I think my struggle is that I want to be a rock star bad a$$ runner, but I have a hard time motivating myself to be more than a hobby runner with a Netflix and cookie habit. I want to be a faster runner, but most days I’m not able to dig deep enough to find my inner bad a$$ – you know?
Michele C. says
Oh there are many times I have known that I *needed to* or *should be* running …. but just didn’t want to. I equally needed to just rest and be still and relax. Sometimes running feels like therapy for me, sometimes it’s a chore. I know it’s always good for me, but sometimes I’m just not going to do it 🙂
sharon says
I’ve had more trouble than usual motivating myself to run these last few months, despite knowing that I *should be* running. It’s frustrating, and I definitely paid for it during my last race. I need to change things up but I’m not sure how yet…